Helping your children form lasting relationships

When you think about your childhood would you say it was good? Did you relate to and form a bond with your sibling(s)? Do you continue as an adult to foster the relationship with your sibling(s)? These are important questions to ask because how you relate to your siblings can affect how your children form relationships with one another. Sibling relationships are the longest relationships you will have here on earth. Funny to think we often don't put much thought into that. But a close relationship with a sister or a brother can be a real treasure in life.

As my grandfather passed away last week I watched as his four children (my dad, a twin brother, a younger brother and one sister) came together from different parts of the country to be at his side. Their personalities are all different, each choosing various career paths and having different interests in life. They have not remained as close as some siblings all grown up do, but they continue to keep each other updated on the activities in life, new additions to the family and occasionally get together for birthdays and holidays. Phone calls are made and emails are written. I am thankful that when our families all lived within miles of each other (back when I was a little girl) we'd often vacation together too.

I have two sisters and although we don't live next door to one another we often call and email throughout the week. I would hope that when my four children are all grown up, they too will call and email and spend time with one another. Even if distance is an issue, I hope that they will make an effort to continue their relationships and invest in each others life.

You may have a similar story. Or you may not be close to your brother or sister and wish it were different. You may want for your children what you did not have growing up. So how can we foster strong relationships between our children that will take them into adulthood even after we are gone? What does that even consist of? Brett Johnston wanted to find that out as well. He decided to do some research and ended up writing "Close Kids: Connect Your Children for Life." His story and what he discovered could really help you as you guide your children in developing lasting relationships. Listen to him speak here on Family Life.

"I went into the woods—I went on a walk in the woods, and I just cried out to God. I said, “God where are You in this parenting? I can’t find You”; and I said, “God, what do You know about being a parent?” I stopped; and this is like this epiphany. “What does God know about being a parent?” God knows everything—He is not only my Father, but then I remembered He was the Father of Israel... As I am thinking about that, I just felt this enormous relief. God knows what I am experiencing. God has been there Himself."

Can you relate to this? Leslie Fields explains in this Family Life broadcast how she coped with feelings of failure and frustration as a parent. She also tackles some myths that we fall into as we go through the parenting years. Take some time to listen and be encouraged. This may just be what you need to hear today!

Chocolate- Chocolate Pancakes

It has been a while since I posted a recipe so I thought this one would be good since Valentines Day is coming. If you want to be really creative you'll cut heart shapes out of the cooked pancakes with a cookie cutter and serve them with jam or red berries and whipping cream! Yum! I made them for my family last night and they actually did NOT devour them like I thought they would. Now I have to think of something I can make with my leftover pancakes and raspberry sauce! Anyhow...

Here are the ingredients:
1 2/3 cups all-purpose flour
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/3 cup white sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup chocolate chips
2 eggs
1 1/4 cups milk
2 teaspoon vanilla
5 tablespoons melted(and cooled)butter

For raspberry sauce:
1 pint raspberries
2 tablespoons sugar
1/4 cup water
1/4 cup raspberry liqueur (I didn't have this, so I put in a little jam, but another substitute would be raspberry syrup.)

Whisk flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, sugar, and salt together in a large bowl. Beat eggs, milk, and vanilla in another bowl; mix in the melted butter. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry, and mix just until combined. Stir in the chocolate chips.
Heat a lightly oiled griddle or skillet over medium-high heat. For each pancake, pour 1/4 cup batter on griddle and cook until bubbles pop in the center of the pancake, about 2 to 3 minutes. Flip, and cook an additional minute on the opposite side.

What are your favorite Valentines Day recipes? Is there anything special you like to make for your family? We'd love for you to share them with us!

I hope you all have a great Valentines Day!

How did you ring in the new year?

While many of us were counting down to 2010, making our new years resolutions and wondering what the new year would hold, there was someone who wasn't pondering the future. He knows exactly what lies in store for you and for me...for our nation and for the world. Jeremiah 29:11 is a well known verse, but many will find comfort in the words God spoke when he said, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (emphasis mine)

I have read this verse many times before, but what I saw differently that impacted me was "declares the Lord." I looked up the word "declare" online at Merriam-Webster.com and the first three definitions are listed as such: #1 : to make known formally, officially, or explicitly, #2 obsolete : to make clear and #3 : to make evident. I think God was, is trying to reassure us. He doesn't want us to worry (that is sin!) and he doesn't want us to even try and plan it all out. He KNOWS what the new year holds for each and everyone of us. And though he does not promise that the future will be full of ups and absent of downs he reminds us that his plans are "plans to prosper you and not to harm you." That means he will take all that lies ahead in your life and mine and bring it around to his purpose, to bring him glory and further refine you to be the woman he created you to be.

I am praying that 2010 will be full of blessings for my family and that the Lord will have mercy and grace upon us and his hand of protection from tragedy and pain in our lives. I prayed very special prayers just like that over my children on the night we watched the clock get closer to midnight, ushering in the new year. But I am fully aware that "...My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," declares the LORD. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9) So I am choosing to trust in the process he takes me through, the process in which he takes my family through, to refine us into being the people who glorify Him in all that we say and do.

I pray that this is what you aspire for this new year. That amidst the resolutions and concerns you have for the future of your job or the future of our nation or whatever it is about the unknown that concerns you, you will remember that God has declared and given us assurance that He is in control and will be thinking of you as life's events unfold. Remember his plans are "...plans to give you hope and a future." I think we can all trust in that!

Happy New Year!

The countdown has begun!

Christmas is coming and faster than you think! Doesn't it always seem to happen that way? We think we have still have enough time to decorate the house, put up lights, bake those cookies, send out Christmas cards, shop for and wrap the gifts.... Now you know what's going on in my head these days!

I had a great conversation with a friend the other day about all those "stressers" I was feeling and the disappointment I felt in feeling stressed! I don't want to lose the feelings of wonder and magic that accompany preparing for Christmas. She gave me the most simple answer in just four words. "You need to pray."

I admit that with all of the pitter patter of little feet going on in my house these days I am not finding much time to be on my knees. Oh I talk to God all day long ("Please, Lord, please help me not to strangle my child for the mess she has just made!"), but it's not the kind of peaceful, attentive prayer that every mom should have at least once a day. The kind where we listen for our Savior's voice.

Preparing for Christmas is a great time to remember that we should be doing just that. Finding time to be still and listen. You can do it by waking up just 5 minutes earlier than usual, in the shower, while the kids are busy with an activity or even nap/quiet time. Just find a time during the day to "fall on your knees" and seek his voice. He came to earth thousands of years ago to meet us where we were. I think he will do the same for us today.

Being Thankful

As Thanksgiving approaches I know, as mothers, we want to cultivate an attitude of thankfulness and contentment in our families. So how do you do that? Where do you begin? I have come across several good resources and I would like to share them with you.

It makes sense to me to start at the beginning. So I like to talk with my children about the pilgrims voyage over to America and what we call "the first Thanksgiving." I have a great cd/book combo that they can listen to while we are in the car or coloring relevant pictures that I print for them. (google pilgrim/indian/mayflower coloring pages) This audio is historically accurate, biblical, and entertaining. The book follows the audio word for word so you can either follow along or read it separately. You can purchase both at FamilyLife.com. http://www.shopfamilylife.com/family-fun.html

I have also found other books that are just as accurate and helpful through Christianbook.com.
http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/cms_content?page=359640&sp=62874&event=1023BKSTR39460362874

Some of my favorites are Squanto and the Miracle of Thanksgiving, by Eric Metaxas; Give Thanks to the Lord, by Karma Wilson; and Thanksgiving, A Harvest Celebration, by Julie Stiegemeyer.

I like other ideas I have seen that encourage you and your children to think about the things they are thankful for and put them in a blessing box or special notebook. You could start writing those things down every day and then read them all at Thanksgiving. Or you could write them down before your meal on Thanksgiving Day and go around the table, reading them out loud. Even the littlest ones can participate by drawing what they are thankful for.

Focusing on others is a great way to be thankful and share what God has blessed you with. We have friends that have gone to homeless shelters to serve food (this can be done anytime of the year) or simply invited someone over who may not have family to celebrate the day with.

I found this article on Focus on the Family's website.

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/articles/give_thanks.aspx

In it are ideas that are age specific, from reading a story to coloring on a tablecloth, and collecting can food. All while teaching your children about being thankful.

I would love to know what other ideas you have or traditions you already participate in. Feel free to post them in the comment section below. Let's help cultivate the next generation of hearts that are thankful for the provisions, spiritually and physically, that the Lord has given to us.

How does God want us to train our children?

This is sooo timely. There has been another great series airing on the radio and via podcast from Family Life. It is on the topic of parenting from birth through the "early years" and it addresses everything that has to do with training and discipline from a biblical perspective. Even the topic of spanking, which is part of our next bible study lesson. (Which is why I am so excited about the timing on this!) In fact it is a series that they have made into a video for small group studies. I think it would be awesome to do with other couples. Here is the link to the broadcasts. There are five in the series.

http://www.familylife.com/site/apps/nlnet/content3.aspx?c=dnJHKLNnFoG&b=3789887&ct=7498251

As always, I encourage you to sit down with your spouse and tackle these, one or two at a time in the evenings when kids are tucked in for the night. What a great way to discuss the issues of parenting that can be so hard to find time for or know how to initiate. This will be worth your time, I promise!

I pray that we will continuously seek the Lord and his Word for guidance as we train our children to serve and love him also.

Now...go listen!! (smile)